My beloved is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand. His head is purest gold; his hair is wavy and black as a raven. (Song of Solomon 5:10-11)
There is a sense in which we see what we want to see. It’s true in life, and it’s true in relationships. How else could starry-eyed lovers end up together in sheer bliss only to find that they can’t stand the presence of one another a short time later?
Once a seed of frustration has been placed in a person’s mind, the seed grows and overtakes his or her vision of the spouse. That’s why each day requires a decision: will I focus on the positive things of my spouse – the things that I love, or will I focus on the frustrating things of my spouse – the things that drive me crazy?
When we allow ourselves to focus on our frustrations, we find that our spouse rarely lives up to our expectations.
So as you think about the one you love, do you choose to focus on the positive or on the negative? Choose to focus on the positive, and you will find that your relationship grows stronger.
Father, it’s easy to pick apart the things in another person that we find unattractive. Particularly when we live with someone, it can be hard to focus on the positives. Give me wisdom to see the positives that my wife brings to our relationship, and help me to honor her in the way that I hold her with high regard.